My Thoughts

This will take us back about four years.

I was working on the road doing re-merchandising work at Lowe’s. I had been out for about sixteen weeks, away from my family. I was in southern Texas and they were here in North Georgia. The money was decent, but the cost was almost more than I could bear.

I didn’t realize that my marriage was falling apart. I was too busy making money and getting high. I didn’t realize it at the time, but those two things were all that I cared about. I mean, I was waking up to get high and getting high to go to sleep. Not to mention staying high in between. It became more than a lifestyle. It controlled my life.

This is Rita, the reason I left Texas when I did.

I started to notice that my wife didn’t really want to talk to me anymore. All we had was the phone, and we weren’t using it much. Katrina had passed before we got to Texas, and Rita was on the way. It came about that we had to leave town and fast!

The night before we left, I was sitting alone in my hotel room. I was miserable and mostly with my self. The realization had hit me that I had let everyone I know down in a major way! As I was sitting there in a fit of self pity, God got a hold of me. In a stern yet loving way He told me it was time to choose. Him or the life I was trying to live. He promised me He would get me through whatever came my way. He also reminded me that without Him, I had no protection from the world or the principalities in it. I chose quickly and got on my knees! I poured my heart to Jesus and I wept. I was so disappointed in myself and what I had become. I was ready for a change.

The next morning, my travel partner, Robert, and I got up early and joined the mass exodus leaving South Texas. It was a nightmare to try to travel in. We each out paychecks and per-diam checks, but nothing was open and we couldn’t get them cashed. We had about a quarter tank of gas and about twenty dollars between us with a thousand miles to go. As we crept along the interstate, we noticed that all of the gas stations were out of gas. We were getting dangerously close to running out of gas ourselves! Then we saw a gas station with several cars in line at the pumps. We pulled in with hope that we could get some gas. Robert took our money inside, he came out with a drink for each of us and gas paid for. I pumped the gas, it wasn’t much, or at least it didn’t seem like it at the time. The gas gauge showed about twice as much gas as we paid for! We started driving again. Things were looking bleak. It didn’t look like we were going to make it away from the approaching hurricane. I looked at Robert and,knowing what he had been through in jail and his encounter with Jesus there, I said “If you still believe in the power of prayer, now would be a good time…”. He replied, “I’ve been praying since we left…”. That little bit of gas took us several hundred miles and well into Louisiana! When we had to stop for gas again, we able to cash our checks and fill up the tank!

When I got home, there were still issues to deal with. You see, just because I surrendered to God, didn’t mean that everything would be instantly fixed. Of course, I didn’t understand that at the time and I was quite surprised to find my wife still distant and apprehensive. We only fought for about two days before days she left with the kids. Now understand that she had just given birth to our youngest son, Nathan about three months earlier. I don’t want to mislead anyone. She had valid reasons for her actions at that time. I brought the situation on us with my disobedience to God, and I understood that when she left.

It was only a day or two before she let me that she had a restraining order against me and I couldn’t see her or the kids without fear of being arrested. About a day after she got the restraining order, I went an hour north of where we lived to talk to someone at the church that I had grown up in during the summers that I spent there. That seemed to be a waste of time. All they could tell me was that although God didn’t want divorce, I couldn’t stop her from doing it and that I should accept it and move on. As I was walking out of the church, my phone rang. It was my wife. She said that I could come over and talk and get some of my stuff. I was VERY excited! You should also know that I had gotten rid of all the things associated with my drug habit, and I was free from that whole mess!

As made the drive back to the house to talk to my wife, I prayed like I never had before. I prayed openly, honestly, and boldly. I told God, “Whatever it takes, just do it. My family is worth it!”. Well, you know God! He did just that! When I came down our street, I noticed a sheriff’s car parked in our driveway.
Thinking I had nothing to fear, I walked up to him saying “I didn’t expect to see you guys here. What’s going on?”. I was offering a hand shake at the same time. Well, he took my hand, spun me around, cuffed me and read me rights! I know what you’re thinking, but the restraining order had nothing to do with it. He mentioned that there was one as a side note, but that I was going to jail on a warrant for non payment of fines. This was the beginning of this amazing journey that I am on….